Some of us may have hired a coach to get the job done. What we discover, as we train over time, is that we need to conquer so many discouraging stories about ourselves, our leadership, or the forces that are willing to stop them. ta.
This is the context we bring to every situation. Over time, we have trained ourselves to operate with a healthy context in certain areas, such as brushing our teeth. While in other companies, such as hitting 8-figure revenue goals, we may struggle to get past internal attackers who tell us that’s not possible. .
Good news? No one is immune.
The internal struggle is real when it comes to wanting to achieve anything new. As I coach C-level executives and high-performing startup founders, I see these unhelpful contexts popping up everywhere as the four common “disruptors.” These fuzzy numbers are what we call the survival mechanism in training. They exist to protect us from something we fear. Sadly, that can also include something we want to accomplish.
When leaders engage in poor behavior, such as shouting to get them to hear or to silence others, that’s often not their intention. Poor behavior is largely unconscious. It happens when we feel threatened — out of money, out of time, or no choice. Our spoilers grab the wheel, and we start creating messes that we need to clean up afterwards. At the very least, we slow our own goals down.
Notice if any of these spoilers show up for you.
Quick Rabbit
This comes when panicked leaders repeatedly put out fires. Whenever our sense of urgency over-regulates to get ahead of everyone (all the time), trust suffers. Speedy Rabbit has too much caffeine, judging people not to move fast enough and will insist they’re crushing it while they’re wearing their vests.
Face-to-face game
This person wears a grin mask or is completely emotionally unscathed. When we work for leaders who never delete their Game Face, it’s a lack of trust. Leaders also suffer because they are too proud or overwhelmed to receive help from others. They are protecting themselves from taking complete ownership of their emotions.
The Phantom Pest
This person has to face their own strength. This is the CEO who has come down to critique the PowerPoint fonts, while they can create larger partnerships. Instead of boldly stepping into the unknown where they’ll find their next innovation or mobilizing their entire team, The Phantom Pest remains hidden in the details, while pushing everyone up the wall.
Dark Star
This is a matter of protest from the players in the team. They can’t figure out why people keep quitting, or why their culture feels like something is missing. The CEOs or founders appear as Dark Stars, protecting themselves from the complexities of leading others. They may say things like, “I’m making room for everyone” while the rest find them completely inaccessible or aloof.
How to get past each of these vandals
Overcoming these spoilers to make new, big things happen takes practice. The great news is that if you’re willing to act a little differently and find it difficult…
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